perfection is just transitory.
I was late to school today, and, I had Caleen as my partner. Hurhur. And, I had to run with bloody stomach cramps. Imagine my agony.
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Ooh, how I hate my results. Damnit. I don’t think I would wanna do that three months thingy in junior college.
Anyways, after this week, I’m really going to concentrate on my studies, and start studying for real. No more of that last minute shit. And, those who don’t believe me can just bugger off.
-
Today was real fun, after school that is. Caleen, Natalin and I, together with Leslie, Desmond and Jacky went for a late lunch at this place along East Coast Road, I forgot what the restaurant was called, my the chicken this was like super hard and fried, and the strawberry thing tasted like blended strawberry jam with yakult, and it had that sticky after taste. But, the guys were really funny, and Desmond was such a dork! Haha. Dang cute I tell you.
After that, Caleen, Natalin and I, took a walk to the library, with many, many detours. Haha. What would be a fifteen minute walk turned to a two hour walk. We stopped at parkway to get Muhammad’s birthday present, and then went to get bubbles to satisfy our inner child as well as Caleen’s deprived childhood. As we walked, we blew bubbles and Caleen chased them like a five year old. Haha. Hilarious I tell you! Then, we went to the playground to play. Hurhur. We did the monkey bars and the workout place there. We were deliriously happy and dizzy from all the turns, twists and hanging upside down. We had a blast!
Sweaty, dirty and wet, we went to the library. It looks like we are making a habit of going to the library all grimy and grubby. Anyways, we went to get more books, I really need to catch up on my reading; my speed has definitely slowed down.
My mother’s on one of her ever so constant rampages again. I fear that she wouldn’t allow me to go out tomorrow. She’d better. My last few days to go out! And, you guys out there, please don’t be cynical of my will power. I can do this, I can and I will.
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Can I actually forgive them? I really do feel weird with them, all the small talk and stuff, it’s getting harder and harder to pretend. It feels so strange sitting next to them, I just feel like such a hypocrite. There’s really not much difference with then and now. As if all that energy was wasted. It’s heartbreaking. And, the best thing, the one thing that made me laugh, was that, the next day, my mother literally bought me candy[?!], as though it would make all things wrong right again. As if, that was all it took for everything to be alright, as if to buy my forgiveness and to relief her guilt. I’m no longer five, mother, neither am I your little girl anymore. I’m no longer innocent, am not that gullible and definitely cannot be bought over by a couple bars of chocolate. And you know what? The same thing happened with a good friend of mine on the same day. But, the only difference was that she had gotten a Chloe bag instead.
-
It feels weird, her hand covering mine, as though nothing had happened. I just wanted to get away; I looked at her hand as if it was diseased. I really want everything to be okay, but, somehow, I cannot overlook your imperfections as I did before.
-
Ooh, how I hate my results. Damnit. I don’t think I would wanna do that three months thingy in junior college.
Anyways, after this week, I’m really going to concentrate on my studies, and start studying for real. No more of that last minute shit. And, those who don’t believe me can just bugger off.
-
Today was real fun, after school that is. Caleen, Natalin and I, together with Leslie, Desmond and Jacky went for a late lunch at this place along East Coast Road, I forgot what the restaurant was called, my the chicken this was like super hard and fried, and the strawberry thing tasted like blended strawberry jam with yakult, and it had that sticky after taste. But, the guys were really funny, and Desmond was such a dork! Haha. Dang cute I tell you.
After that, Caleen, Natalin and I, took a walk to the library, with many, many detours. Haha. What would be a fifteen minute walk turned to a two hour walk. We stopped at parkway to get Muhammad’s birthday present, and then went to get bubbles to satisfy our inner child as well as Caleen’s deprived childhood. As we walked, we blew bubbles and Caleen chased them like a five year old. Haha. Hilarious I tell you! Then, we went to the playground to play. Hurhur. We did the monkey bars and the workout place there. We were deliriously happy and dizzy from all the turns, twists and hanging upside down. We had a blast!
Sweaty, dirty and wet, we went to the library. It looks like we are making a habit of going to the library all grimy and grubby. Anyways, we went to get more books, I really need to catch up on my reading; my speed has definitely slowed down.
My mother’s on one of her ever so constant rampages again. I fear that she wouldn’t allow me to go out tomorrow. She’d better. My last few days to go out! And, you guys out there, please don’t be cynical of my will power. I can do this, I can and I will.
-
Can I actually forgive them? I really do feel weird with them, all the small talk and stuff, it’s getting harder and harder to pretend. It feels so strange sitting next to them, I just feel like such a hypocrite. There’s really not much difference with then and now. As if all that energy was wasted. It’s heartbreaking. And, the best thing, the one thing that made me laugh, was that, the next day, my mother literally bought me candy[?!], as though it would make all things wrong right again. As if, that was all it took for everything to be alright, as if to buy my forgiveness and to relief her guilt. I’m no longer five, mother, neither am I your little girl anymore. I’m no longer innocent, am not that gullible and definitely cannot be bought over by a couple bars of chocolate. And you know what? The same thing happened with a good friend of mine on the same day. But, the only difference was that she had gotten a Chloe bag instead.
-
It feels weird, her hand covering mine, as though nothing had happened. I just wanted to get away; I looked at her hand as if it was diseased. I really want everything to be okay, but, somehow, I cannot overlook your imperfections as I did before.
-
photos tomorow. i'm currently very lazy.
posted by mandy at 9:05 PM
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